Thursday, July 12, 2012

A Quick One

I have been keeping it classy lately so be warned...

I got up at about 4:35 this morning. I felt as though I needed to visit the bathroom...ASAP. I was still connected to my cumbersome IV pole so I rung for the nurse. An orderly passed by and I explained why I needed a nurse. I believe he mistook my French for Swahili as minutes continued to pass with no heed to my call. Knowing my digestive system I know, as the late Ted Tevan would say, that I was running out of racetrack. I got up, unplugged my IV from the socket, schlepped it across the room all the while avoiding any nasty wire entanglement. I also needed to carry my pee pitcher (is that the proper medical term?) as the doctors monitor just about everything.

I make it to the bathroom. However, I have waited just a bit too long. In the name of politesse, let's just say both ends needed to be emptied simultaneously. Not usually a problem, unless you have up into a pee pitcher. I am a somewhat talented individual so the difficult was achieved with no mess.

All of a sudden it hit me. The theme from Chariots of Fire was at high volume in my mind. I could feel Blood Test Lady's imminent arrival. In my mind, I can feel the ward door opening. No, it is not in my mind, I can definitely here the trolley...sure enough I was still not done when she entered the room. I apologized and asked for 3 more minutes.

Upon her return to my room she told me I wake up quite early.


  1. CHERYL SOKOLOFF NOVACKJuly 12, 2012 at 5:03 AM

    well done Jay! A lot of QUICK thinking very early in the morning.

  2. What a way to start your day! Not sure how you'll beat that ;)
    Love your writing and your positive outlook, it's amazing that being high on Tylenol didn't alter the breadth of your vocabulary in any way...

  3. Thanks for the morning laugh Jay! You are quite the talented man!

    I look forward to your daily updates each morning. Keep them coming!

    Claudia H

  4. So glad I read this after lunch. Waaaaay after lunch.
    Thanks for the laugh and gald you made it! LOL!