Things you need to know

Michael Libman, a great and good friend of mine, purchased me 3 lottery tickets. Apparently 1 winning ticket of 50 million was drawn from Quebec. In addition, 7 quebecers have also won a million dollars each. The tickets are who knows where but I feel as though I am already blessed.

At about 6:12 this morning I felt some kind of weird sensation. After a protracted, often uncomfortable 59 hour labor period, mother nature finally called. The proud father claims to have immediately shed about 8 pounds of body weight. I can only say that it only rarely one feels such an utter state of bliss and contentment.

As many of you may know, I left the ICU last night. The level of care extended to me was nothing short of Herculean. As a result, when the orderly offered to sit me in my lounger this morning, I had no qualms. I remembered my chair from the ICU. It was well-appointed with a blanket, a cushion, a pillow etc. Fast forward to two hours after sitting in the chair this morning was when it struck me that I placed nothing between my buttocks and the beautiful blue vinyl chair...the dislodging is somewhat unpleasant.

In other good news,my catheter was removed. The nurse approached me with a syringe. I naturally made a sound but she assured me it was because I was engorged/swollen/ballooned that she needed to do this. Sure enough I started to feel something. Then I felt a lot of pressure. Have you ever feared/wanted the same thing to happen simultaneously? I realized where this increasing pressure was leading to. Then she said "grand respiration" and what seemed like a 1 minute ordeal was over in 45 seconds.

Clearly the day is going well. Now all I have to do is pee. Time passed and then the nurse told me I needed to pee within 90 minutes. Who is good under pressure?

As I mentioned I am now in a normal ward so the manpower is not the same. At about 3:50 I felt not a tinkle but, unbelievably, a second call to nature. I ring my bell. 10 minutes pass and I am really rocking back and forth. Finally, help arrives. I must do my business but I also need to hold a pitcher simultaneously as I have been warned to keep the first pee. Incredibly nature called and I passed enough urine to satisfy the catheter authorities.

You see how I already feel so lucky.
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